Abi Scott (keaalu) wrote,
Abi Scott

Ridiculous spam

Because there's a couple of senders whose emails persistently fall into my spam box, even though I've lost count of how many times I've marked them as "not spam", I try and look through my spam box once or twice a week. I guess most people do, right? Anyway. I began to notice a bit of a theme going on...

Click to enbiggen. I don't know about you, but Kayla the very pretty 25 year old blonde is starting to look more and more desperate. And as for SP Casino - does that stand for SPAM Casino? Why are they wishing me "Seasons Greetings" in mid March?

I got the last one of these "from the FBI" today, though, which is really why I decided to post this. XD

OK, so, first of all, I've won some money!
With the help of their newly developed technology (International Monitoring Network System) wthe FBI have discovered that my e-mail address was automatically selected by an Online Balloting System, this has legally won me the sum of $2.4million USD from a Lottery Company outside the United States of America! But because the funds have been deposited with IMF, I am required to settle the following bills directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction whom is (conveniently) located in Cotonou, Benin Republic (read: next door neighbours to Nigeria. They must be talking to those Nigerian princes). But it's only $96, and who cares, because I'll be a millionaire soon!
Four days later...
Whoops! Wait, no. "The FBI" have changed their mind, they only want to pay me $850,000, and I have to send them a whole $450 for the privilege. The cheek! But conveniently, the funds have been deposited with a Bank in America, which is more reassuring than just "IMF" I guess, and I am be required to settle the bill directly to the Lottery Agent in-charge of this transaction, who is now located in currently in London, United Kingdom on a "special assignment" (wee-woo, wee-woo). WELL< LET ME JUST EMAIL THEM ALL MY DETAILS! :D
OK, so they clearly don't like me taking time answering their emails.
GOSH DARN IT, someone has stolen my money! They discovered that the sum of $10.5M was transferred from CBN to BOA in MY name without legal documents! And I will be ARRESTED if I don't reply back! To... a "rmrobertmueller69@gmail.com". Funny, he's the guy who told me I'd won 2.4 million! So all this time, he was planning on sneaking the other 8 million away from me!
Those FBI types sure are tricky, they don't want anyone knowing their REAL email addresses...

...does ANYONE fall for these any more? XD And for "FBI agents", their English ain't so hot. What's With all the Random Capitalisation of words, Too?

Optimism, thy name is "spammer".

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