Thing 1:
The people on "Customs UK" make my brain hurt. There's a guy who has just brought back far more cigarettes from Turkey than he's allowed, and is arguing with the customs officer. "I didn't know" he says, and then "there was no "'something to declare' channel >:(".
I really want to know what his thought process was - maybe "I've brought back a quantity of cigarettes that I know to be probably against regulations, since I'm looking for the 'something to declare' channel to avoid it, and when I can't see it, score! There's clearly no customs in operation at this airport at all and I don't have to declare anything. :3"
Thing 2:
Justin Lee Collins. Just f'ing... shut up already. I know they paid you to HOST some half-rate clip show of celebrity bloopers, amusing things off YouTube, and the usual "You've been framed!" calibre of "funny" videos of people falling over, but some things are actually amusing without you gabbing over the top of it. It's usually due to come on when I'm cooking dinner after work, and I want a bit of noise in the background, and some things - like a lot of the stuff off YouTube - would be entertaining in a brain-off kind of way.
Like the guy who made a "USB-powered popcorn maker" (It was the secong half of this video, from when the music stops. I guess they didn't show the whole thing as they didn't want kids copying it and electrocuting themselves.), and uploaded it to YouTube, and it actually WORKED? "OK, computer powered popcorn maker... right. OK. How is this gonna improve my life? (more un-memorable bla bla bla) Just go and buy a bag of Butterkist, mate."
Or the couple who did their first dance to I like Big Butts? Yeah, ok, it wasn't hih-laaa-rious to start with, but guess what; "JLC" managed to suck all potential for humour out of it by continually murmuring "yeah, no marks for bad acting" or "ooh, cheeky!" and "yeah, you need a slap, bad girl" over the top.
Mr Lee Collins, it would be a vaguely tolerable show if you were actually funny.
Edit: Unrelated, but I have a certain someone in the back of my brain who thinks this image has great potential for hilarity. --->
Teehee, "hump".